Pre-Marital Sex, Extreme Violence, and Over-Misogyny is OK, But Smoking is BAD

9 08 2010

"I need to prove I'm a tough guy villain by holding a gun to this baby's head! It's not like I have an evil look on my face all the time..."

Another day, another Marvel rant. Surprised? Before I start I just want to say that this post is not for the closed-minded and the Marvel Zombies. You’ve been warned.

So I’m sure most of us comic fans know about the initiative where Joe Quesada (Editor-In-Chief of Marvel Comics) wouldn’t allow characters to smoke in Marvel Comics because someone he knew died of lung cancer. While that’s nice and all, I’m here to tell you all that there are many far, far worse things than smoking within the comic books at Marvel. Those things are:

  • Pre-Marital Sex
  • Extreme Violence
  • Over-Misogyny

You know what all of these things have in common? They’ve been appearing throughout many of Marvel’s comics. Don’t believe me? Please bear with me as I provide this list of evidence (this is going to be a long one, folks):

I will be providing where the evidence comes from and who wrote the book.

Extreme violence AND over-misogyny:

I find it funny how smoking is a no-no, but extreme violence and misogyny is A-OK. It’s quite ridiculous. The evidence for misogyny will be bolded.

– Ultimate Red Skull holding a GUN to a BABY’S HEAD, then later THROWING said baby OUT OF A WINDOW, with a nice little blood splat on the next page (Ultimate Avengers#5- Mark Millar)

– A nurse REPEATEDLY STABS her husband to death with a pair of SCISSORS, with blood flying in the panel (Ultimate Avengers#5- Mark Millar)

A ticked off S.H.E.I.L.D. agent shoots a skrull lady in the head, killing her (New Avengers#48- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The tip of a plane going STRAIGHT THROUGH Ultimate Red Skull’s chest, again, with blood flying (Ultimate Avengers#6- Mark Millar)

– 8 pages, count ’em, of Ultimate Punisher SHOOTING people left and right with little to no dialogue (Ultimate Avengers 2#1- Mark Millar)

Nick Fury shoots a Skrull lady in the head (Mighty Avengers#12)

– Venom eats somebody/something/anything (WAY TOO MANY INSTANCES TO COUNT)

The Sentry RIPS OFF Morganna Le Fay’s HEAD OFF (Dark Avengers#2- Brian Michael Bendis)

Words can't express the disgust I feel while looking at this panel... and people thought that this was a good and fun book?!? Give me a break...

– Bullseye shoots numerous arrows into Morganna Le Fay, with his team congratulating him (Dark Avengers#3- Brian Michael Bendis)

The Hood beats/rapes Tigra TWO TIMES while Jigsaw films the first time (New Avengers#35 and New Avengers Annual#2)

From New Avengers#35. Can you believe that crap like this sells? Unbelieveable.

– Wolverine chops up a guy in half, rips another guy apart, Hulk gang member eats half of an arm, Wolverine sticks his claws THROUGH a Hulk Gang member’s face/head, a few Hulk Gang members have sex with a bunch of girls INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS (not joking, sadly), explosion kills and decapitates several Hulk Gang members, Wolverine slices his way through several Hulk Gang members, Wolverine slices off evil She-Hulk’s head off, Wolverine disembowels a cow, Wolverine stabs through old, evil Bruce Banner then Banner turns into Hulk and eats Wolverine, then Wolverine CUTS OPEN Bruce and escapes. (Giant-Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan- Mark Millar)

– WARNING! WARNING! CAN’T COMPUTE THE VIOLENT SCENCES IN OLD MAN LOGAN! TOO MUCH DATA! GOING TO EXPLODE! WARNING! PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING! (spx: BOOM!) Ok, it’s all over. Nothing to see here folks! Please go about your daily lives.

Ultimate Blob eats Ultimate Wasp, then Ultimate Yellowjacket bites off Ultimate Blob’s head and spits it out (Ultimatum#2 and Ultimatum#3- Jeph Loeb)

Hawkeye, oops sorry, RONIN shoots an arrow through the Skrull Queen’s mouth. Then Norman Osborn shoots the Skrull Queen’s head off (Secret Invasion#7 and Secret Invasion#8- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The Lizard eats his own son (some terrible issue of Amazing Spider-Man- Zeb Wells)

Spider-Man RIPS OFF half of Sasha Kravinoff’s face (some terrible issue of Amazing Spider-Man- Joe Kelly)

– The Sentry rips open Ares with Ares’ entrails spilling out (Siege#2- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The Wasp mysteriously turns into a bunch of purple dots and disappears, assumed dead (Secret Invasion#8- Brian Michael Bendis)

Bendis LOVES The Wasp! Can't you tell?

 – Bullseye chokes the life out of the Sentry’s wife (Dark Avengers#15- Brian Michael Bendis)

This is one of the MOST SICKENING panels I've ever seen in my entire life.

– WARNING! WARNING! CAN’T COMPUTE VIOLENCE IN ULTIMATE AVENGERS#2! OH NO, I THINK I’M GOING TO BLOW UP AGAIN! I CAN’T HOLD IT MUCH LONGER!!! (spx: KA-BOOM!!!) *sigh* It’s all right guys… I’ll make sure this never happens again- oh who am I kidding? As long as Mark Millar lives this will keep happening! Sorry about the mess…

Pre-Marital Sex:

This is the one that gets me. As a Christian I believe that pre-marital sex is wrong. So when I see characters, especially the ones I love, running around with their pants down it angers me to a point where words can’t describe how angry I get. Plus it just fuels the fanboy power-fantasy where women are simply there to be objectified, which pisses me off even more.

– Peter Parker gets drunk and has a one-night stand with his ex-roomates sister (Amazing Spider-Man#601- Mark Waid)

– Moonstone persuades Marvel Boy, whoops, Captain Marvel- oh I’m sorry, he’s called Protector now isn’t he? Anyway Moonstone persuades Protector into her room where they bang each other (Dark Avengers#5- Brian Micheal Bendis)

– Moonstone takes off her shirt in front of Bullseye, in which it is hinted at that Bullseye quickly followed suit and banged each other (Dark Avengers#10- Brian Michael Bendis)

– Ultimate Nick Fury is shown to have slept with a numerous amount of the new Ultimate Black Widow’s friends in a flashback (Ultimate Avengers 2#4- Mark Millar)

– Sins Past. ‘Nuff Said (Amazing Spider-Man#514- J. Michael Straczynski with a huge amount of Joe Quesada’s stink mixed in)

– Ultimate Valkyrie sleeps with Ultimate Hank Pym (The Ultimates 2#6- Mark Millar)

– Ultimate Iron Man sleeps with Ultimate Black Widow on a videotape (The Ultimates 3#1- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Valkyrie sleeps with Ultimate Thor (The Ultimates 3#2- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Wolverine sleeps with Magneto’s wife (The Ultimates 3#3- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Pyro and Mastermind are tempted to rape an unconscious Ultimate Valkyrie (The Ultimates 3#4- Jeph Loeb)

I could've gone without that, but ok... that's just... yuck...

– Ultimate Hulk Annual#1 (don’t even want to go into what happened in this…- Jeph Loeb)

– Spider-Man/Peter Parker sleeps with Black Cat (Amazing Spider-Man#607 and Amazing Spider-Man#622- Joe Kelly and Fred Van Lente)- I almost had an aneurysm reading these issues, in fact I remember throwing #622 on the floor…

 I don’t know about you, but these problems are worse than smoking. Whatever Joe Quesada wants he gets, right? He thought there were too many mutants, so what happens? No more mutants, except the popular ones. He hated the Peter Parker/MJ marriage and what happens? No more marriage. *Insert fanboy voice here* “But Jim Shooter wanted to have Peter marry MJ and wanted Jean Grey face the consequences of her actions and die in Dark Phoenix Saga!” *Throw away fanboy voice here* That’s true, but he felt those story decisions would strengthen the stories. He didn’t do those decsions just because of personal preferences and look, Dark Phoenix Saga is considered (and is my personal favorite X-Men story) to be the best X-Men story.

If Joe Quesada makes his editorial descions based on his on his personal life that’s fine, but he should be more concerned about what would be beneficial to the story, not just about how he personally feels. What do the fans want? That’s another thing that needs to be considered. I hope Marvel starts to get their stuff together soon. They’re slipping from me very fast. I’ve said my two cents about the current Spider-Man status quo, so I’m not going to re-visit that. I know I’m picking on Marvel here. DC is guilty of a lot of violence in their comics, but they’ve kept pre-marital sex and misogyny to a minimum.

So ends my rant about the ridiculousness that is the fact that pre-marital sex, extreme violence, and over-misogyny is not as bad as smoking. Apparently you can have Ultimate Red Skull pretty much kill everyone he sees, but you can’t have him smoke! Let me know what you guys think about this topic by leaving a comment below! Thanks in advance!

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What I’ve Been Reading…

22 06 2010

Hey guys! This is a new post where I will be sharing with you what I’m reading. Since I like to include the people who read this post in with the conversation, feel free to share what you are reading by leaving a comment on the post.

– The Best of Spider-Man Volume 5 HardCover featuring the Amazing Spider-Man stories: Skin Deep (by J. Michael Straczynski, Mike Deodato, and Mark Brooks) and New Avengers (by J. Michael Straczynski and Mike Deodato). Skin Deep was alright. To me, JMS’ Amazing Spider-Man issues, good or bad, are captivating and keep my attention. Skin Deep wasn’t as attention grabbing as I’d hoped. I expected a lot more. The New Avengers story however is good. It grabs my attention and it’s very interesting to see how the Avengers live (don’t you find it funny how Bendis never really focuses on that) and how Peter, MJ, and Aunt May respond to their way of living. Overall, this was a nice read and fairly enjoyable.

– Secret War (by Brian Michael Bendis and Gabrielle Dell’Otto). No this is not the original Secret War series (which was good, by the way). This is the recent one. I should’ve know this from the get-go, but… the dialogue is typical Bendis dialogue nowadays. It’s boring, everyone has the same voice, it has little to do with anything, and is annoying sometimes. A few times throughout the story I just wanted to say, “Seriously, shut up!” to some of the characters. But I managed to pull through. The only cool scenes were the fight scenes. While Dell’Otto’s art was gorgeous to look at most of the time, there were a handful of times where I didn’t know who was who because he changed the costume of the character. It got to the point where I had to use the back matter in the book to clarify or remind myself who was who. Example, the heroes fight a goblin guy and it was at the end of the issue where I was flipping through the back matter and I thought, “Holy crap! That guy was Hobgoblin?!?!?” He wasn’t wearing the classic orange and black suit. Instead he was wearing… something else. There were other instances like that, but I don’t want to waste time with them. I’m sure you get my point.

– Battle Chasers (by Joe Madureira and others). Wow. This series is great. Too bad Joe Mad dropped it after issue#9. I really have quickly fallen in love with this series. The characters are great and the art is beautiful. These just adds to the long list of great titles that the creators have just dropped for other things that tend not to be as good.

– Secret Six (by Gail Simone, Nicola Scott, and Doug Hazlewood). This is what Dark Avengers should’ve been.

That’s all for now! Please leave a comment about what you’re reading or anything else! I look forward to reading them! Thanks for reading!