Pre-Marital Sex, Extreme Violence, and Over-Misogyny is OK, But Smoking is BAD

9 08 2010

"I need to prove I'm a tough guy villain by holding a gun to this baby's head! It's not like I have an evil look on my face all the time..."

Another day, another Marvel rant. Surprised? Before I start I just want to say that this post is not for the closed-minded and the Marvel Zombies. You’ve been warned.

So I’m sure most of us comic fans know about the initiative where Joe Quesada (Editor-In-Chief of Marvel Comics) wouldn’t allow characters to smoke in Marvel Comics because someone he knew died of lung cancer. While that’s nice and all, I’m here to tell you all that there are many far, far worse things than smoking within the comic books at Marvel. Those things are:

  • Pre-Marital Sex
  • Extreme Violence
  • Over-Misogyny

You know what all of these things have in common? They’ve been appearing throughout many of Marvel’s comics. Don’t believe me? Please bear with me as I provide this list of evidence (this is going to be a long one, folks):

I will be providing where the evidence comes from and who wrote the book.

Extreme violence AND over-misogyny:

I find it funny how smoking is a no-no, but extreme violence and misogyny is A-OK. It’s quite ridiculous. The evidence for misogyny will be bolded.

– Ultimate Red Skull holding a GUN to a BABY’S HEAD, then later THROWING said baby OUT OF A WINDOW, with a nice little blood splat on the next page (Ultimate Avengers#5- Mark Millar)

– A nurse REPEATEDLY STABS her husband to death with a pair of SCISSORS, with blood flying in the panel (Ultimate Avengers#5- Mark Millar)

A ticked off S.H.E.I.L.D. agent shoots a skrull lady in the head, killing her (New Avengers#48- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The tip of a plane going STRAIGHT THROUGH Ultimate Red Skull’s chest, again, with blood flying (Ultimate Avengers#6- Mark Millar)

– 8 pages, count ’em, of Ultimate Punisher SHOOTING people left and right with little to no dialogue (Ultimate Avengers 2#1- Mark Millar)

Nick Fury shoots a Skrull lady in the head (Mighty Avengers#12)

– Venom eats somebody/something/anything (WAY TOO MANY INSTANCES TO COUNT)

The Sentry RIPS OFF Morganna Le Fay’s HEAD OFF (Dark Avengers#2- Brian Michael Bendis)

Words can't express the disgust I feel while looking at this panel... and people thought that this was a good and fun book?!? Give me a break...

– Bullseye shoots numerous arrows into Morganna Le Fay, with his team congratulating him (Dark Avengers#3- Brian Michael Bendis)

The Hood beats/rapes Tigra TWO TIMES while Jigsaw films the first time (New Avengers#35 and New Avengers Annual#2)

From New Avengers#35. Can you believe that crap like this sells? Unbelieveable.

– Wolverine chops up a guy in half, rips another guy apart, Hulk gang member eats half of an arm, Wolverine sticks his claws THROUGH a Hulk Gang member’s face/head, a few Hulk Gang members have sex with a bunch of girls INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS (not joking, sadly), explosion kills and decapitates several Hulk Gang members, Wolverine slices his way through several Hulk Gang members, Wolverine slices off evil She-Hulk’s head off, Wolverine disembowels a cow, Wolverine stabs through old, evil Bruce Banner then Banner turns into Hulk and eats Wolverine, then Wolverine CUTS OPEN Bruce and escapes. (Giant-Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan- Mark Millar)

– WARNING! WARNING! CAN’T COMPUTE THE VIOLENT SCENCES IN OLD MAN LOGAN! TOO MUCH DATA! GOING TO EXPLODE! WARNING! PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING! (spx: BOOM!) Ok, it’s all over. Nothing to see here folks! Please go about your daily lives.

Ultimate Blob eats Ultimate Wasp, then Ultimate Yellowjacket bites off Ultimate Blob’s head and spits it out (Ultimatum#2 and Ultimatum#3- Jeph Loeb)

Hawkeye, oops sorry, RONIN shoots an arrow through the Skrull Queen’s mouth. Then Norman Osborn shoots the Skrull Queen’s head off (Secret Invasion#7 and Secret Invasion#8- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The Lizard eats his own son (some terrible issue of Amazing Spider-Man- Zeb Wells)

Spider-Man RIPS OFF half of Sasha Kravinoff’s face (some terrible issue of Amazing Spider-Man- Joe Kelly)

– The Sentry rips open Ares with Ares’ entrails spilling out (Siege#2- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The Wasp mysteriously turns into a bunch of purple dots and disappears, assumed dead (Secret Invasion#8- Brian Michael Bendis)

Bendis LOVES The Wasp! Can't you tell?

 – Bullseye chokes the life out of the Sentry’s wife (Dark Avengers#15- Brian Michael Bendis)

This is one of the MOST SICKENING panels I've ever seen in my entire life.

– WARNING! WARNING! CAN’T COMPUTE VIOLENCE IN ULTIMATE AVENGERS#2! OH NO, I THINK I’M GOING TO BLOW UP AGAIN! I CAN’T HOLD IT MUCH LONGER!!! (spx: KA-BOOM!!!) *sigh* It’s all right guys… I’ll make sure this never happens again- oh who am I kidding? As long as Mark Millar lives this will keep happening! Sorry about the mess…

Pre-Marital Sex:

This is the one that gets me. As a Christian I believe that pre-marital sex is wrong. So when I see characters, especially the ones I love, running around with their pants down it angers me to a point where words can’t describe how angry I get. Plus it just fuels the fanboy power-fantasy where women are simply there to be objectified, which pisses me off even more.

– Peter Parker gets drunk and has a one-night stand with his ex-roomates sister (Amazing Spider-Man#601- Mark Waid)

– Moonstone persuades Marvel Boy, whoops, Captain Marvel- oh I’m sorry, he’s called Protector now isn’t he? Anyway Moonstone persuades Protector into her room where they bang each other (Dark Avengers#5- Brian Micheal Bendis)

– Moonstone takes off her shirt in front of Bullseye, in which it is hinted at that Bullseye quickly followed suit and banged each other (Dark Avengers#10- Brian Michael Bendis)

– Ultimate Nick Fury is shown to have slept with a numerous amount of the new Ultimate Black Widow’s friends in a flashback (Ultimate Avengers 2#4- Mark Millar)

– Sins Past. ‘Nuff Said (Amazing Spider-Man#514- J. Michael Straczynski with a huge amount of Joe Quesada’s stink mixed in)

– Ultimate Valkyrie sleeps with Ultimate Hank Pym (The Ultimates 2#6- Mark Millar)

– Ultimate Iron Man sleeps with Ultimate Black Widow on a videotape (The Ultimates 3#1- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Valkyrie sleeps with Ultimate Thor (The Ultimates 3#2- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Wolverine sleeps with Magneto’s wife (The Ultimates 3#3- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Pyro and Mastermind are tempted to rape an unconscious Ultimate Valkyrie (The Ultimates 3#4- Jeph Loeb)

I could've gone without that, but ok... that's just... yuck...

– Ultimate Hulk Annual#1 (don’t even want to go into what happened in this…- Jeph Loeb)

– Spider-Man/Peter Parker sleeps with Black Cat (Amazing Spider-Man#607 and Amazing Spider-Man#622- Joe Kelly and Fred Van Lente)- I almost had an aneurysm reading these issues, in fact I remember throwing #622 on the floor…

 I don’t know about you, but these problems are worse than smoking. Whatever Joe Quesada wants he gets, right? He thought there were too many mutants, so what happens? No more mutants, except the popular ones. He hated the Peter Parker/MJ marriage and what happens? No more marriage. *Insert fanboy voice here* “But Jim Shooter wanted to have Peter marry MJ and wanted Jean Grey face the consequences of her actions and die in Dark Phoenix Saga!” *Throw away fanboy voice here* That’s true, but he felt those story decisions would strengthen the stories. He didn’t do those decsions just because of personal preferences and look, Dark Phoenix Saga is considered (and is my personal favorite X-Men story) to be the best X-Men story.

If Joe Quesada makes his editorial descions based on his on his personal life that’s fine, but he should be more concerned about what would be beneficial to the story, not just about how he personally feels. What do the fans want? That’s another thing that needs to be considered. I hope Marvel starts to get their stuff together soon. They’re slipping from me very fast. I’ve said my two cents about the current Spider-Man status quo, so I’m not going to re-visit that. I know I’m picking on Marvel here. DC is guilty of a lot of violence in their comics, but they’ve kept pre-marital sex and misogyny to a minimum.

So ends my rant about the ridiculousness that is the fact that pre-marital sex, extreme violence, and over-misogyny is not as bad as smoking. Apparently you can have Ultimate Red Skull pretty much kill everyone he sees, but you can’t have him smoke! Let me know what you guys think about this topic by leaving a comment below! Thanks in advance!

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Top 25 Selling Comic Books of June 2010! YAY or NAY?

15 07 2010

“I KNEW I shouldn’t have read Mark Millar’s Kick-Ass…”

 

So let’s take a look at what comic book fans today like: 

  1.   New Avengers#1
  2.   Batman#700
  3.   Avengers#2
  4.   Batman: Return of Bruce Wayne#3
  5.   Green Lantern#55
  6.   Brightest Day#3
  7.   Brightest Day#4
  8.   Secret Avengers#2
  9.   Uncanny X-Men#525
  10.   Avengers Prime#1
  11.   Flash#3
  12.   Superman#700
  13.   Green Lantern Corps#49
  14.   X-Men Legacy#237
  15.   Justice League of America#46
  16.   Amazing Spider-Man#634
  17.   Amazing Spider-Man#633
  18.   Captain America#606
  19.   Astonishing X-Men#34
  20.   Thor#611
  21.   Amazing Spider-Man#635
  22.   Green Arrow#1
  23.   New Mutants#14
  24.   Wonder Woman#600
  25.   Captain America#607

Out of all these books on that list I only bought 2 of them: Batman and Wonder Woman. Here is the rest of the books I bought that month and where they stand: 

26. Invincible Iron Man#27 

41. Invincible Iron Man Annual#1 

44. Deadpool#24 

45. Shield#2 

120. Atlas#2 (Why this book doesn’t sell boggles my mind). 

125. Invincible#73 (Another great book that doesn’t sell much). 

182. Turf#2 (See my statements above) 

This is seriously disappointing. Looking at this list makes me weep for the industry. So in the Top 25, we have: 4 Avenger books, 7 Brightest Day books, and 4 X-books. Not a SINGLE indie book among the Top 25. Pathetic. When I say pathetic I’m talking about the people who only buy DC and/or Marvel. Come on already guys! Expand your horizons! Get out of your little bubbles where only you and your “blockbuster” comics reside and try something NEW. 

This month has been unbelievable. It’s been so up-and-down. You get one awesome announcement, then you find out one of your favorite titles is being cancelled, and so on and so forth. There is room for improvement, but it seems as if fanboys don’t want something new. They want the boring same old, same old. I used to be one of these guys. I used to be a total Marvel Zombie. I shunned DC and everybody else when I hadn’t even tried one of their books, but then I heard great reviews of Detective Comics#854, so I decided to give it a try. I did and immediately I was HOOKED on catching up with the goings-on of the DCU and try out other indie books as well. So to all you fanboys out there please try something new. It will make comic collecting so much more fun and enjoyable. 

Thanks for bearing with me and I hope you guys share your thoughts by leaving a comment on this post. I look forward to them 24/7!

UPDATE: Whoops! I forgot to add the link for the top selling comic book chart. CLICK HERE to take a look at it.





It’s a sad day for fans of good comics

13 07 2010

I have just been informed that the Marvel Comics monthly Atlas written by Jeff Parker and drawn by Gabriel Hardman is going to be cancelled at issue#5. So why is it being cancelled? Take a guess…. if you guessed A). It wasn’t selling very well, then you pretty much guessed right! Apparently the total copies sold were in the low 20k area, so Parker decided to pull the trigger on Atlas. Parker said that one of the options he had to boost sales was to create a tie-in for an event. Why does everything need to tie-in to an event at Marvel nowadays? It almost seems mandatory. As much as I’m sad to see this book go, I’m actually kind of glad Parker didn’t force the book to tie-in to an event. It just goes to show you that events sell and creativity doesn’t.

So why do I love the Agents of Atlas so much? Well for one thing all the characters have their own voices. They all have different roles to play, unlike in Bendis’ crappy Avenger books were everyone has the same voice and only the big guns get to do anything special. Secondly, they work together as a team. Do you see teamwork in Bendis’ Avenger books? If you said yes then I suggest you get your eyes checked because they don’t work as a team. All the Avengers do in a Bendis book is talk, eat, get their butts handed to them time and time again, talk, make awful jokes and played-out jokes, eat some more after eating, and talk. Third thing, is all the heroes in Agents of Atlas/Atlas all have morals and reasons to be there. They don’t just say, “Oh, I guess I’ll be on the team if you want me to…” like in that double page splash of Avengers#1(the one that just came out). Fourth thing, I have quickly fallen in love and have deep emotional connections to all the characters in Atlas. In Avengers Forever#4, the last page is the Avengers of the 50s (now known as the Agents of Atlas) appeared I was filled with joy.

So why does this book not sell? I’ll tell you why. Because Marvel shoves all this crap down your throat, such as a million tie-ins to a FIVE ISSUE MINI-SERIES and 5-6 different Avenger books and a billion X-books. So people who work/want to work for Marvel: If you want your book to sell all you have to do is tie it into an event. Simple as that. Also there is going to be an issue of Deadpool Team-Up where Gorilla Man is going to guest star in. Jeff Parker said that the sale numbers for that issue have been pretty good and that he thinks that Gorilla Man was the legs of the Agents of Atlas. I’m sorry, but that’s not the reason it’s selling well. It’s because it’s a Deadpool book. Fanboys can’t get enough Deadpool!

Marvel is CHOKING the industry with all of their glut of books. Not only are they are they choking the industry, but they’re choking you, the fans, the people who give Marvel their precious money. Marvel is slowly pushing me away from them. I’d be more than happy to not buy anything from them, but fortunately for them they have good books like Atlas, Invincible Iron Man, and Shield. I want books that challenge me and books that get me emotionally invested in the characters. I want to CARE for the characters. I want to get more than just visceral thrills. I want to expand my horizons, but unfortunately it seems that fanboys don’t want any of that. By fanboys I mean the kind of people who will yell at you if you disagree with them and the ones that NEED their variant edition of Deadpool Corps bagged and boarded at 10 AM.

All I know is that when Atlas is gone…. I’ll need my Jeff Parker fix, dangit!

This is a day where fanboys truly, truly suck.

Agents of Atlas… I’ll miss you.

To read the article that informed me of this tragedy, CLICK HERE.