A ‘Kick-Ass’ (get it?) REVIEW of TWO Mark Millar Comics: Kick-Ass 2#1 AND Superior#1

27 10 2010

Kick-Ass 2#1

Written by: Mark Millar

Breakdowns by: John Romita, Jr. with finishes and ink washes by Tom Palmer

Colors by: Dean White

Price: $2.99

Publisher: Marvel/Icon

As many of my faithful followers know I was not impressed by the first volume of Kick-Ass. But I decided to go against my better judgment and bought this anyway to see if Millar has improved his writing since The Ultimates 2 (waaaaay back in 2006-2007). It appears that NO his writing HAS NOT improved since then BUT, much to my surprise, nothing in the book insulted my intelligence or offended me. It seems that in the last few years of Millar’s comics at the very least ONE THING in his books would ALWAYS offend me or irritate me. Instead Millar managed to bore me to death because this comic was ÜBER BORING. All this book was is a bunch of talking and frequent appearances of some ‘four-letter words’ that pop up frequently in Millar’s books.

The start of the book is a bunch of flash-forwards of what will happen later on in this story (which is done in a very UNCLEVER and PLAYED OUT way). You get a glimpse of Red Mist, who is apparently going to be called ‘The MotherF****r’.

MINI-RANT: Are you KIDDING me Mark Millar?!? Is that the BEST name for a “super villain” you can COME UP WITH? A second-grader could’ve come up with a better name than that! (I should do that as an experiment…) Surely not ALL of the POSSIBLE names for characters have been taken have they? MINI-RANT OVER.

Feel free to grab a drink or something right now. I’m just decompressing the review in hopes of dragging this ON and ON. It’s a technique I learned in Kick-Ass 2#1.

Also Kick-Ass joins a super team that looks a bit like the Justice League of America. What’s the superteam’s name you ask? Why it’s: JUSTICE FOREVER. (No joke).

The only good thing I can say about this book is that I liked that Romita, Jr. art a lot and nothing in the story angered me (as I expected would happen). Beyond that there isn’t much else to this book.

RATING: 2/5

 

One magic wish? I've got one: I wish Mark Millar could write better comics!

Superior#1

Written by: Mark Millar

Drawn by: Leinil Francis Yu

Inks by: Gerry Alanguilan

Colors by: Dave McCaig

Price: $2.99

Publisher: Marvel/Icon

Again I went against my better judgment and bought another recent Mark Millar book. I read the preview of this book and it actually got me interested in checking this book out. The GORGEOUS Leinil Yu art helped my interest in the book. I ended up buying this book. I disliked Kick-Ass. Don’t even GET ME STARTED on Nemesis. Out of my curiosity I picked up this book. Curiosity killed the cat, right? Well not in this case it didn’t. I actually somewhat enjoyed this book.

It had relatable characters and had some heart. In a nutshell, Superior is about a kid with MS who is granted the powers of a superhero named Superior. As far as originallity this book doesn’t score much points because as I’m reading it I’m thinking, “Man, this comic reminds me of the movie Big.” And wouldn’t you know it a week after this comic is released Millar HIMSELF admits that Superior is basically a “superhero version of Big…” That aside this book is boring in some points, but not as boring as Kick-Ass 2#1. The energetic art by Leinil Yu keeps at least some interest in what is going on. The action scenes are better in terms of excitement.

And, again, much to my surprise NOTHING in the book that irked me or caused me to throw the comic on the ground (I have done that to a couple Mark Millar books). This book DOES have heart in some moments and has me interested in what’s going to happen next. Oh, also more ‘four-lettered words’ show up. In case no one knows what I’m talking about, ‘four-lettered words’ = SWEAR WORDS. The only thing that I felt was missing from this book is:

A). Originallity

B). A lot of excitement

C). A lot of heart

I know I said there was excitement and heart in the book, but if Millar could enhance those elements in the story I think Superior would be a well-packed story with great art. I’m trying REALLY hard not to use the title of this book into what I feel about this book. All of that said I will buy the next issue to see if Millar stays at this quality or improves (knowing Millar he’ll probably screw everything up 🙂 )

RATING: 3/5

Thanks for reading! Leave a comment down below and FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER!

 

@comicbookdude89





Pre-Marital Sex, Extreme Violence, and Over-Misogyny is OK, But Smoking is BAD

9 08 2010

"I need to prove I'm a tough guy villain by holding a gun to this baby's head! It's not like I have an evil look on my face all the time..."

Another day, another Marvel rant. Surprised? Before I start I just want to say that this post is not for the closed-minded and the Marvel Zombies. You’ve been warned.

So I’m sure most of us comic fans know about the initiative where Joe Quesada (Editor-In-Chief of Marvel Comics) wouldn’t allow characters to smoke in Marvel Comics because someone he knew died of lung cancer. While that’s nice and all, I’m here to tell you all that there are many far, far worse things than smoking within the comic books at Marvel. Those things are:

  • Pre-Marital Sex
  • Extreme Violence
  • Over-Misogyny

You know what all of these things have in common? They’ve been appearing throughout many of Marvel’s comics. Don’t believe me? Please bear with me as I provide this list of evidence (this is going to be a long one, folks):

I will be providing where the evidence comes from and who wrote the book.

Extreme violence AND over-misogyny:

I find it funny how smoking is a no-no, but extreme violence and misogyny is A-OK. It’s quite ridiculous. The evidence for misogyny will be bolded.

– Ultimate Red Skull holding a GUN to a BABY’S HEAD, then later THROWING said baby OUT OF A WINDOW, with a nice little blood splat on the next page (Ultimate Avengers#5- Mark Millar)

– A nurse REPEATEDLY STABS her husband to death with a pair of SCISSORS, with blood flying in the panel (Ultimate Avengers#5- Mark Millar)

A ticked off S.H.E.I.L.D. agent shoots a skrull lady in the head, killing her (New Avengers#48- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The tip of a plane going STRAIGHT THROUGH Ultimate Red Skull’s chest, again, with blood flying (Ultimate Avengers#6- Mark Millar)

– 8 pages, count ’em, of Ultimate Punisher SHOOTING people left and right with little to no dialogue (Ultimate Avengers 2#1- Mark Millar)

Nick Fury shoots a Skrull lady in the head (Mighty Avengers#12)

– Venom eats somebody/something/anything (WAY TOO MANY INSTANCES TO COUNT)

The Sentry RIPS OFF Morganna Le Fay’s HEAD OFF (Dark Avengers#2- Brian Michael Bendis)

Words can't express the disgust I feel while looking at this panel... and people thought that this was a good and fun book?!? Give me a break...

– Bullseye shoots numerous arrows into Morganna Le Fay, with his team congratulating him (Dark Avengers#3- Brian Michael Bendis)

The Hood beats/rapes Tigra TWO TIMES while Jigsaw films the first time (New Avengers#35 and New Avengers Annual#2)

From New Avengers#35. Can you believe that crap like this sells? Unbelieveable.

– Wolverine chops up a guy in half, rips another guy apart, Hulk gang member eats half of an arm, Wolverine sticks his claws THROUGH a Hulk Gang member’s face/head, a few Hulk Gang members have sex with a bunch of girls INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS (not joking, sadly), explosion kills and decapitates several Hulk Gang members, Wolverine slices his way through several Hulk Gang members, Wolverine slices off evil She-Hulk’s head off, Wolverine disembowels a cow, Wolverine stabs through old, evil Bruce Banner then Banner turns into Hulk and eats Wolverine, then Wolverine CUTS OPEN Bruce and escapes. (Giant-Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan- Mark Millar)

– WARNING! WARNING! CAN’T COMPUTE THE VIOLENT SCENCES IN OLD MAN LOGAN! TOO MUCH DATA! GOING TO EXPLODE! WARNING! PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING! (spx: BOOM!) Ok, it’s all over. Nothing to see here folks! Please go about your daily lives.

Ultimate Blob eats Ultimate Wasp, then Ultimate Yellowjacket bites off Ultimate Blob’s head and spits it out (Ultimatum#2 and Ultimatum#3- Jeph Loeb)

Hawkeye, oops sorry, RONIN shoots an arrow through the Skrull Queen’s mouth. Then Norman Osborn shoots the Skrull Queen’s head off (Secret Invasion#7 and Secret Invasion#8- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The Lizard eats his own son (some terrible issue of Amazing Spider-Man- Zeb Wells)

Spider-Man RIPS OFF half of Sasha Kravinoff’s face (some terrible issue of Amazing Spider-Man- Joe Kelly)

– The Sentry rips open Ares with Ares’ entrails spilling out (Siege#2- Brian Michael Bendis)

– The Wasp mysteriously turns into a bunch of purple dots and disappears, assumed dead (Secret Invasion#8- Brian Michael Bendis)

Bendis LOVES The Wasp! Can't you tell?

 – Bullseye chokes the life out of the Sentry’s wife (Dark Avengers#15- Brian Michael Bendis)

This is one of the MOST SICKENING panels I've ever seen in my entire life.

– WARNING! WARNING! CAN’T COMPUTE VIOLENCE IN ULTIMATE AVENGERS#2! OH NO, I THINK I’M GOING TO BLOW UP AGAIN! I CAN’T HOLD IT MUCH LONGER!!! (spx: KA-BOOM!!!) *sigh* It’s all right guys… I’ll make sure this never happens again- oh who am I kidding? As long as Mark Millar lives this will keep happening! Sorry about the mess…

Pre-Marital Sex:

This is the one that gets me. As a Christian I believe that pre-marital sex is wrong. So when I see characters, especially the ones I love, running around with their pants down it angers me to a point where words can’t describe how angry I get. Plus it just fuels the fanboy power-fantasy where women are simply there to be objectified, which pisses me off even more.

– Peter Parker gets drunk and has a one-night stand with his ex-roomates sister (Amazing Spider-Man#601- Mark Waid)

– Moonstone persuades Marvel Boy, whoops, Captain Marvel- oh I’m sorry, he’s called Protector now isn’t he? Anyway Moonstone persuades Protector into her room where they bang each other (Dark Avengers#5- Brian Micheal Bendis)

– Moonstone takes off her shirt in front of Bullseye, in which it is hinted at that Bullseye quickly followed suit and banged each other (Dark Avengers#10- Brian Michael Bendis)

– Ultimate Nick Fury is shown to have slept with a numerous amount of the new Ultimate Black Widow’s friends in a flashback (Ultimate Avengers 2#4- Mark Millar)

– Sins Past. ‘Nuff Said (Amazing Spider-Man#514- J. Michael Straczynski with a huge amount of Joe Quesada’s stink mixed in)

– Ultimate Valkyrie sleeps with Ultimate Hank Pym (The Ultimates 2#6- Mark Millar)

– Ultimate Iron Man sleeps with Ultimate Black Widow on a videotape (The Ultimates 3#1- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Valkyrie sleeps with Ultimate Thor (The Ultimates 3#2- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Wolverine sleeps with Magneto’s wife (The Ultimates 3#3- Jeph Loeb)

– Ultimate Pyro and Mastermind are tempted to rape an unconscious Ultimate Valkyrie (The Ultimates 3#4- Jeph Loeb)

I could've gone without that, but ok... that's just... yuck...

– Ultimate Hulk Annual#1 (don’t even want to go into what happened in this…- Jeph Loeb)

– Spider-Man/Peter Parker sleeps with Black Cat (Amazing Spider-Man#607 and Amazing Spider-Man#622- Joe Kelly and Fred Van Lente)- I almost had an aneurysm reading these issues, in fact I remember throwing #622 on the floor…

 I don’t know about you, but these problems are worse than smoking. Whatever Joe Quesada wants he gets, right? He thought there were too many mutants, so what happens? No more mutants, except the popular ones. He hated the Peter Parker/MJ marriage and what happens? No more marriage. *Insert fanboy voice here* “But Jim Shooter wanted to have Peter marry MJ and wanted Jean Grey face the consequences of her actions and die in Dark Phoenix Saga!” *Throw away fanboy voice here* That’s true, but he felt those story decisions would strengthen the stories. He didn’t do those decsions just because of personal preferences and look, Dark Phoenix Saga is considered (and is my personal favorite X-Men story) to be the best X-Men story.

If Joe Quesada makes his editorial descions based on his on his personal life that’s fine, but he should be more concerned about what would be beneficial to the story, not just about how he personally feels. What do the fans want? That’s another thing that needs to be considered. I hope Marvel starts to get their stuff together soon. They’re slipping from me very fast. I’ve said my two cents about the current Spider-Man status quo, so I’m not going to re-visit that. I know I’m picking on Marvel here. DC is guilty of a lot of violence in their comics, but they’ve kept pre-marital sex and misogyny to a minimum.

So ends my rant about the ridiculousness that is the fact that pre-marital sex, extreme violence, and over-misogyny is not as bad as smoking. Apparently you can have Ultimate Red Skull pretty much kill everyone he sees, but you can’t have him smoke! Let me know what you guys think about this topic by leaving a comment below! Thanks in advance!





You just can’t polish a turd (GOOD comic book writers gone BAD)

2 08 2010

A Polished Turd, apparently…

 You know that time when your favorite writer, musician, performer, actor, etc. isn’t as good as they used to be? Well, that’s how I feel about a few comic book writers today. As an aspiring comic book writer myself one of the most painful things is seeing your creative heroes let you down. This post is about those writers:

Jeph Loeb:

My first exposure to Mr. Loeb’s comics was The Ultimates 3, then soon afterward Ultimatum. Those had to be some of the worst comic books I’ve ever read. I thought to myself, “Has this guy written ANYTHING good?” After searching around on the interwebs I found out that people liked his stories where he worked with Tim Sale. Soon afterward my dad had mentioned a story he had read called Spider-Man: Blue and he recommended that I read it. Little did I know that it was written by none other than Jeph Loeb. I ended up reading it based on my dad’s recommendation and I liked it. The ending was very heartbreaking and well thought of. Then several months I read Batman: Hush by Loeb and Jim Lee. I was blown away by it. In a good way. To me it was very engaging and it had some of the best comic book art I’ve ever seen. Then, come February this year I read Batman: The Long Halloween by Loeb and Sale. That became my favorite Jeph Loeb story very quickly and it was then that I realized that Loeb is/was capable of some really good storytelling. I want that Jeph Loeb back soon.

Frank Miller:

This is perhaps the most tragic downfall of a comic book writer in the industry. This man has written and drawn some of the best comic books in the world. In my Top 5 favorite comic book stories list, Miller has written two of those stories. Those are Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Daredevil: Born Again. Other wonderful work Miller has done is as following: Batman: Year One, Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot, Daredevil: Man Without Fear, and his run on Daredevil. So why do I dislike his writing now? Dark Knight Strikes Again is THE WORST Batman story I’ve EVER read. So childish and pointless. You couldn’t have a man talking about a woman without them commenting on her butt. Then comes along All-Star Batman and Robin. The dialogue in this so-called “comic book” is HORRIBLE. I’m a big fan of Miller’s dialogue he used in his older work, but this dialogue in All-Star is just utter garbage. There was nothing attractive about it. But the final straw for me was the movie Miller made called The Spirit based on the wonderful comic by Will Eisner. While, some of the visuals were nice, the rest of the movie is sickening. The dialogue is on par with All-Star Batman and Robin. Evidently Miller and Eisner were best friends, and I can’t believe Miller just pissed all over Eisner’s creation. I honestly don’t know how he can live with himself after that movie. I just like to pretend that none of that crap exists and I enjoy Miller’s good work.

James Robinson:

This one will be short because this isn’t as painful as all the others. I’m a big fan of his Starman stories. That was one of the best books to come out of the 90s. But recently his JLA stories have been AWFUL. You’d think that he could write superheroes after seeing what he could do in Starman, but apparently not. In JLA not only is it just not a fun read, you have the heroes killing each other and ripping body parts of each other and it’s just… ugh. What is this? The Teen Titans?

Geoff Johns:

What? How come Geoff Johns is on this list? I’ll tell you why. Brightest Day SUCKS. You’d think with a title like that it would be a happy story and FINALLY we’d have a light-hearted story in the DCU… right? Nope. Brightest Day has to be one of the most depressing and boring comic book I’ve ever read in my 10 years of reading comics. Don’t get me wrong I have LOVED some of Geoff’s earlier stuff like the stuff he does with Gary Frank, his Green Lantern stories are good (not anymore, too much same old same old for me), his Avengers stories were good, and Blackest Night was great up until the end. The truth and my honest opinion is that Johns is just not doing his best work right now. I hope something changes soon.

Brian Michael Bendis:

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love Ultimate Spider-Man and his indy comic book Goldfish. So imagine my disappointment when I read his Avenger stories. New Avengers was boring, Dark Avengers was a joke, and his current Avenger books aren’t good. His current disregard for continuity is astounding. His lack of respect for female characters (for the most part, he doesn’t that as much recently) was/is disgusting. For months and months I have begged and prayed for the Bendis I know and love to come back. Well, thankfully my prayers have been answered with Scarlet done by Bendis and Alex Maleev. Sadly that is only going to be a mini-series. His work in the mainstream comic books outweighs his great work on Scarlet. To me, Bendis is more of an independent writer than a mainstream writer.

Mark Millar:

To me, this is the most painful and tragic downfall of a comic book writer. Millar was one of my early influences as a comic book writer. I liked his work on Ultimate X-Men, The Ultimates 1+2, Wanted, Chosen, and Superman: Red Son. Then he started letting me down with Civil War, Fantastic Four, Kick-Ass, Nemesis, War Heroes, Ultimate Avengers 1+2, Marvel 1985, and Old Man Logan. I remember the day I first read Old Man Logan. It was not a good weekend for me. I had suffered a lot of emotional pain the week before and all I wanted to do was read a good comic book story. So I picked up some issues of OML because most people said they liked it. I read it and never before have I felt so dirty about buying and reading a comic book in my entire life. The story had way too many continuity gaps in it and it just wasn’t an enjoyable read for me. In fact, I got really mad at the part where Wolverine finds out he accidently kills all of the X-Men due to Mysterio (which would never, NEVER happen). I had gotten so mad that I threw the issue into the air and yelled, “That’s bulls***!” (Don’t worry fanboys, I didn’t damage the book too much. You can breathe now).

Two weeks later my dad bought for me the trade paperback of Superman: Red Son. To this day Red Son is my favorite Superman story and my favorite Mark Millar story. In fact, towards the end I started crying because I just could not believe that the man who wrote this awesome story, had written OML. To see what Millar has become now just breaks my heart. It seems all he does not is steal from movies and doesn’t try as hard as he used to. Have any of you noticed that his new upcoming comic, Superior, sounds just like Dancing with Wolves and Avatar? It’s true.

Those are the comic book writers whose work I’ve enjoyed, but lately I haven’t been enjoying their work. I know I bash Bendis, Johns, Millar, Loeb, and Marvel a lot. Not because I dis-respect them, but because I know they’ve done better work and are capable of so much more.

Thanks for bearing with me and please leave a comment to let me know what you all think! Thanks!





Wonder Woman#601 REVIEW (Is this “all-new” Wonder Woman any good?)

30 07 2010

Cover art by Don Kramer and Michael Babinski

Wonder Woman#601   

Writer: J. Michael Straczynski   

Artist: Don Kramer with inks by Michael Babinski   

Publisher: DC Comics   

Price: $2.99   

Here we are! New Wonder Woman! New costume! New creative team! After reading Wonder Woman#600 I figured this was as good a time as any to jump on board and start reading Wonder Woman. Mind you, I have read a few issues of Gail Simone and Greg Rucka’s run, but I have yet to fully follow a run of Wonder Woman. I was hoping that this would be a run I would want to continue with the story. With JMS working on the writing chores that increased my hope. I’m interested to see if he can do to Wonder Woman, what he did with Spider-Man. So, I bought this issue with high hopes. Were they met? For the most part yes.   

I knew that JMS had changed Diana’s (Wonder Woman for those who don’t know her real name) origin. I am bit ashamed to admit this since Diana is one of my favorite female fiction characters, but since I had no idea what her origin was this was interesting and new for me. Very quickly into the story you see that amazons are a tough breed of women. Basically they’re the female versions of the Spartans. As usual, JMS does a great job at keeping me interested in the story and has me not wanting to put the book down. The story is fast-paced. Not too fast, but not too slow. The story remains interesting throughout the book. The pacing is perfect for the book. One thing that bothered me was the plane scene. How do you doze off on a plane and not be thrown off? I didn’t get that. I understand that she’s Wonder Woman, but that was a bit too much. Overall the story was great.   

The art was the biggest surprise of the book. I did not expect to like it as much as I did. Don Kramer does a nice job on art chores and he manages to pull of a Nicola Scott (whose are I love, by the way) feel to his art. The art was another factor that played into keeping the story interesting. It worked very well with the feel and pacing of the story. So kudos to you Don for the nice looking art.   

Overall this was a nice package that was worth the price I paid. I will definitely be sticking around for a while in hopes of it staying at this level of quality and possibly beyond that level. I am happy where it’s at now, but it would be cool to see the quality go up. Now that would be a rockin’ comic book!  

Rating: B+





Back Issue Comic Book Review: Amazing Spider-Man#500

27 07 2010

Cover art by J. Scott Campbell

Amazing Spider-Man#500

Written by: J. Michael Straczynki

Drawn by: John Romita, Jr. and John Romita, Sr.

Inks by: Scott Hanna

Publisher: Marvel Comics

Price: $3.50 (got my copy for $1)

So last week I ranted about the new issue of Amazing Spider-Man and after that I needed to cleanse my palette, so I read this based on the fact that I’ve liked most of what I’ve read of JMS’ run on ASM. I’m also a sucker for almost anything drawn by John Romita, Jr. I REALLY enjoy his art. So I started reading this and, to me, the story got off to a slow start. Now keep in mind that I haven’t read the issues before this, so that could’ve played into the fact that I thought it started slow. But things quickly moved along quite nicely. Basically Spider-Man, in this issue, is re-fighting his old fights when he first started out. For example, his early fight(s) with Sandman, Doctor Octapus, Electro, Lizard, Vulture and a couple others. He also re-lives that classic scene (and my personal favorite Spider-Man moment) when he lifts the huge piece of machinery to get the ISO-36 to save Aunt May. First of all if you haven’t read that story (in ASM#31-33, don’t worry it’s been reprinted several times) then shame on you. Go read it NOW. Secondly, here is that scene:

Is he strong? Listen bud-- he can lift heavy machinery above his head. But apparently a fat guy can pin him down...

 As someone who grew up reading the reprints of all the classic Spider-Man stories I really enjoyed this book. A lot actually. But to me the best part of the book is the ending. I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t read it yet, but all I can say is that I started to cry a little. This is a great book, especially if you’ve read the classic stories of Spider-Man. We need more Spider-Man stories like these. Oh, what’s that? Dan Slott’s going to take over ASM? Well, it looks like my prayers have been answered!

Rating: B+





Just Wasting My Time!!!

27 07 2010

"I ate cookie dough ALL night!" - Omi, dragon of the water

 I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who read my review of Amazing Spider-Man#638. That review has become my most viewed post BY FAR, totaling 204 views and counting. I haven’t done any new posts since then because I didn’t want to drown it in other posts. I poured my heart and soul into that review and I’m so glad I wrote it. Seriously, thank you to everyone who is checking out my blog and be sure to tell your friends about it!

Now here’s what I’ve been doing lately:

  • I saw Inception last Friday. Very, very good movie. All the actors were great and your mind is on full throttle trying to process what’s going on (or at least mine was). I recommend it to anyone with an open mind.
  • I am re-visiting my childhood and re-watching my favorite cartoons as a kid. Just to mention a few: Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot, Xiaolin Showdown (picture shown above is from this show), and Jackie Chan Adventures. There are many others that I’d like to mention, but these are the ones I’ve been watching recently. Speaking of re-visiting childhood I’ve also been playing Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy. Such a great video game that is so worthy of being a classic if it’s not already.
  • Yesterday I bought volumes 2 and 3 of the manga series Vagabond. The artwork is GORGEOUS. The art drew me in and soon afterward the story pulled me in as well. I also found a beat-up copy of Trigun volume 1 for .50 cents(!). I’m about 30 pages in and so far it’s pretty funny. It’s about a gunman who’s a pacifist. Good stuff.
  • I’ve also been buying random back issues of comic books left and right, some of which I’ll be doing back issue reviews of. I also got a volume of James Robinson’s Starman for a buck! You can’t go wrong with that.

That’s all for now. Stay tuned for a few back issue reviews and a new kind of post featuring… well, just wait and see 🙂

Thanks for reading and I look forward to your comments!





Amazing Spider-Man#638 REVIEW (One Moment In Time I’d Certainly Like to Forget)

21 07 2010

This is how I felt after reading ASM#638

SPOILERS AHEAD! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MY ANGER AND POSSIBLE SWEARING. I WILL DO MY BEST TO KEEP THIS AT A FAMILY LEVEL REVIEW. I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS WILL TURN OUT…   

Amazing Spider-Man#638    

One Moment In Time- Part One (of Four)   

Written by: a room full of monkeys Joe Quesada   

Drawn by: Paolo Rivera and Joe Quesada   

Publisher: Marvel Comics   

Price: $3.99 and a piece of your love for Spider-Man   

 Where do I start with this? As much as I’d like to cut the bullcrap I can’t. There is just so much on top of the big thing that’s irritating me, I just can’t ignore it. This story is essentially the sequel to One More Day. The story where Peter Parker and MJ sacrifice their marriage to save Aunt May’s life. Here click this so I don’t have to torture myself and relive the horror of OMD. Anyway this second chapter explains how Peter and MJ aren’t married anymore. Throughout the issue bits and pieces of Amazing Spider-Man Annual#21 are literally CUT AND PASTED into this issue with little bits of what happened to cause the events of Peter and MJ not being married anymore. My first question is: Are the creators of that annual getting royalties because the annual is literally HALF of the comic. They’re probably not. If someone can prove me wrong I’d love that. The scenes that are taken from the annual are missing the best parts of the annual and all the emotional character moments. Also the switch between the annual, to Peter and MJ talking in regular continuity, and the scenes that happen after the scenes in the annual was way too jarring. They were all three different art styles and neither of them had any cohesion with one another.   

 Also Quesada tries to be like Bendis. He tries to mimic his style of dialogue and the jokes that fall flat on their butt. Come on, just get your own style of writing. Don’t try to mimic someone else’s style. Especially if it’s not even good. So here is what pissed me off and many others. In the original annual Spidey and Electro and his goons fight and they all get captured, etc. But in here one of the criminals escapes out of a police car (all of the six police officers aren’t even PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO HIM, by the way). Spidey and that same criminal meet up the day before Peter and MJ are supposed to be married. Towards the end of the confrontation the criminal slips and Spidey goes to save him. Spidey grabs him but is unable to snag a balcony with his webbing for some reason (I thought his webbing could go very far as seen in, oh, just about every Spider-Man comic. Maybe it’s a new thing… or maybe it’s just lazy storytelling). Both of them begin to fall to the ground. Spidey braces the fall for the criminal. Both hit the ground and go unconscious. And THAT my friends is why Spider-Man missed his wedding with MJ. 

Don’t worry, I had to do a double-take to see if this was still real life as well.   

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! ARE YOU %$@#^&! KIDDING ME?!?!?!? Spider-Man misses his wedding because some fat guy lands on top of him and he’s unconscious FOR HOURS?!? Spider-Man has taken down the X-Men BY HIMSELF. He’s beaten Firelord. He’s taken down Hulk and Juggernaut. He held up a huge piece of machinery ABOVE HIS HEAD. But he can’t handle being pinned down by a unconscious fat guy? That right there is the epitome of LAZY STORYTELLING. I understand that Quesada is a busy guy. He runs Marvel Comics and I understand that. But, hey, if you’re too busy to come up with something original then find a different writer who actually gives a damn.  

I love Spider-Man. He’s why I got into reading comics in the first place. Ultimate Spider-Man got me back into comics years later. I have met many people who tell similar stories of how Spider-Man got them into comics. To see what Marvel is doing to my favorite character just SICKENS ME. 

   I’m serious when I say that this is an insult to every true fan of Spider-Man. I know this issue of ASM has a lot of people hurting and screaming. I’m one of those people. But guys this is the time to just say, “No.” We need to let them know that we’re hurting and that we don’t like what they’re doing to our favorite characters. Don’t give me the lame excuse, “Oh well, I’m just gonna buy it until it gets better.” Folks the reality is that the only way this is going to stop is if we stop buying Marvel’s garbage.  

This has pushed me beyond the breaking point. This is the final straw for me. I’m telling you right now: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF MARVEL RAPING THE CHARACTERS I GREW UP WITH IN ORDER TO TELL THEIR CRAPPY “BLOCKBUSTER” STORIES. I can’t go any further. I really can’t. I’m SICK and TIRED of this. When can I have my Spider-Man back? Why can’t we put creators who actually care for the characters on the books? Marvel I am seriously disappointed in you, but I know you don’t care because you have me by the b***s and have my money. I’d like to mention the few good books Marvel has just to make you Marvel Zombies out there happy, but too bad. Marvel has shown us time and time again how they care for their fans and to me it’s quite disgusting. Please guys, complain. I usually don’t like complainers and I know people are sick and tired of them, but this is something that isn’t sitting well with me at all. This issue of ASM is by far one of the worst, if not THE WORST, thing(s) I have READ ALL YEAR. I know it’s “just comics”, but does it have to be SO PAINFUL? This story NEEDS to be avoided. I’m embarrassed that this passes as a Spider-Man comic. This is a joke to the industry. So am I going to keep reading this story? Read: maybe. Buy: heck no.     

My dad tells me the story of how he stopped buying Marvel Comics because of stuff that is similar to what’s going on right now. To those who think everything is doing alright with Spider-Man: Get your head out of the water,  and clean your ears, brains, and glasses. Things have to change. This is ridiculous and I can’t take it anymore. Am I going to completely give up on Marvel even though I constantly sing praises for Invincible Iron Man, Atlas, and Shield? I guess I’ll have to sleep on that. I probably won’t stop buying IIM until Fraction leaves the book. I love it too much.    

THINGS. HAVE. GOT. TO. CHANGE.    

Rating: F-