Amazing Spider-Man#638 REVIEW (One Moment In Time I’d Certainly Like to Forget)

21 07 2010

This is how I felt after reading ASM#638

SPOILERS AHEAD! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MY ANGER AND POSSIBLE SWEARING. I WILL DO MY BEST TO KEEP THIS AT A FAMILY LEVEL REVIEW. I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS WILL TURN OUT…   

Amazing Spider-Man#638    

One Moment In Time- Part One (of Four)   

Written by: a room full of monkeys Joe Quesada   

Drawn by: Paolo Rivera and Joe Quesada   

Publisher: Marvel Comics   

Price: $3.99 and a piece of your love for Spider-Man   

 Where do I start with this? As much as I’d like to cut the bullcrap I can’t. There is just so much on top of the big thing that’s irritating me, I just can’t ignore it. This story is essentially the sequel to One More Day. The story where Peter Parker and MJ sacrifice their marriage to save Aunt May’s life. Here click this so I don’t have to torture myself and relive the horror of OMD. Anyway this second chapter explains how Peter and MJ aren’t married anymore. Throughout the issue bits and pieces of Amazing Spider-Man Annual#21 are literally CUT AND PASTED into this issue with little bits of what happened to cause the events of Peter and MJ not being married anymore. My first question is: Are the creators of that annual getting royalties because the annual is literally HALF of the comic. They’re probably not. If someone can prove me wrong I’d love that. The scenes that are taken from the annual are missing the best parts of the annual and all the emotional character moments. Also the switch between the annual, to Peter and MJ talking in regular continuity, and the scenes that happen after the scenes in the annual was way too jarring. They were all three different art styles and neither of them had any cohesion with one another.   

 Also Quesada tries to be like Bendis. He tries to mimic his style of dialogue and the jokes that fall flat on their butt. Come on, just get your own style of writing. Don’t try to mimic someone else’s style. Especially if it’s not even good. So here is what pissed me off and many others. In the original annual Spidey and Electro and his goons fight and they all get captured, etc. But in here one of the criminals escapes out of a police car (all of the six police officers aren’t even PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO HIM, by the way). Spidey and that same criminal meet up the day before Peter and MJ are supposed to be married. Towards the end of the confrontation the criminal slips and Spidey goes to save him. Spidey grabs him but is unable to snag a balcony with his webbing for some reason (I thought his webbing could go very far as seen in, oh, just about every Spider-Man comic. Maybe it’s a new thing… or maybe it’s just lazy storytelling). Both of them begin to fall to the ground. Spidey braces the fall for the criminal. Both hit the ground and go unconscious. And THAT my friends is why Spider-Man missed his wedding with MJ. 

Don’t worry, I had to do a double-take to see if this was still real life as well.   

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! ARE YOU %$@#^&! KIDDING ME?!?!?!? Spider-Man misses his wedding because some fat guy lands on top of him and he’s unconscious FOR HOURS?!? Spider-Man has taken down the X-Men BY HIMSELF. He’s beaten Firelord. He’s taken down Hulk and Juggernaut. He held up a huge piece of machinery ABOVE HIS HEAD. But he can’t handle being pinned down by a unconscious fat guy? That right there is the epitome of LAZY STORYTELLING. I understand that Quesada is a busy guy. He runs Marvel Comics and I understand that. But, hey, if you’re too busy to come up with something original then find a different writer who actually gives a damn.  

I love Spider-Man. He’s why I got into reading comics in the first place. Ultimate Spider-Man got me back into comics years later. I have met many people who tell similar stories of how Spider-Man got them into comics. To see what Marvel is doing to my favorite character just SICKENS ME. 

   I’m serious when I say that this is an insult to every true fan of Spider-Man. I know this issue of ASM has a lot of people hurting and screaming. I’m one of those people. But guys this is the time to just say, “No.” We need to let them know that we’re hurting and that we don’t like what they’re doing to our favorite characters. Don’t give me the lame excuse, “Oh well, I’m just gonna buy it until it gets better.” Folks the reality is that the only way this is going to stop is if we stop buying Marvel’s garbage.  

This has pushed me beyond the breaking point. This is the final straw for me. I’m telling you right now: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF MARVEL RAPING THE CHARACTERS I GREW UP WITH IN ORDER TO TELL THEIR CRAPPY “BLOCKBUSTER” STORIES. I can’t go any further. I really can’t. I’m SICK and TIRED of this. When can I have my Spider-Man back? Why can’t we put creators who actually care for the characters on the books? Marvel I am seriously disappointed in you, but I know you don’t care because you have me by the b***s and have my money. I’d like to mention the few good books Marvel has just to make you Marvel Zombies out there happy, but too bad. Marvel has shown us time and time again how they care for their fans and to me it’s quite disgusting. Please guys, complain. I usually don’t like complainers and I know people are sick and tired of them, but this is something that isn’t sitting well with me at all. This issue of ASM is by far one of the worst, if not THE WORST, thing(s) I have READ ALL YEAR. I know it’s “just comics”, but does it have to be SO PAINFUL? This story NEEDS to be avoided. I’m embarrassed that this passes as a Spider-Man comic. This is a joke to the industry. So am I going to keep reading this story? Read: maybe. Buy: heck no.     

My dad tells me the story of how he stopped buying Marvel Comics because of stuff that is similar to what’s going on right now. To those who think everything is doing alright with Spider-Man: Get your head out of the water,  and clean your ears, brains, and glasses. Things have to change. This is ridiculous and I can’t take it anymore. Am I going to completely give up on Marvel even though I constantly sing praises for Invincible Iron Man, Atlas, and Shield? I guess I’ll have to sleep on that. I probably won’t stop buying IIM until Fraction leaves the book. I love it too much.    

THINGS. HAVE. GOT. TO. CHANGE.    

Rating: F-

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22 responses

21 07 2010
Pink Eye

Damn now that was a review. You pretty much summerized my feelings about why i refuse to buy most Marvel comics and especially why I quit spiderman ever since omd and it looks like I will continue to not buy spiderman.

21 07 2010
itsjustsomerandomgeek

Thanks for taking your time to read my review and comment on it!

The only recent ASM stories I’ve enjoyed were the Dan Slott ones and word on the street is that he is going to be the sole writer of ASM soon. Dan is a great writer, but I fear that he won’t be able to fully restore Spidey’s character. All I know is that I won’t return to ASM unless Dan Slott is writing it.

22 07 2010
Pink Eye

After reading some reviews on CBR filled with nothing but a$$ kissing its nice to find people who can actually have an opinion. Hopefully the rumors on Bleeding Cool are true about Slott taking over and this BND crap will end soon. Slott maybe the only one who can save Spiderman from this disaster of a story if you can call it that.

23 07 2010
itsjustsomerandomgeek

I couldn’t believe CBR gave is 3.5 stars. IMO giving it 1 star is being polite. Although I do like to read a few reviews before I do my own review, just to see what people liked/didn’t like. Unfortunately most of it is @$$ kissing, as you put it, so I don’t enjoy reading reviews w/o a passionate voice.

I will always give you guys my honest and unbaised opinion. The minute I start giving you my false opinion is the minute I stop working on this blog.

22 07 2010
mr zee

Wow I was expecting a lot more from this comic, oh well

22 07 2010
phil

Aside from the cutting and pasting u had mentioned, how was the art?

22 07 2010
itsjustsomerandomgeek

I like Paolo Rivera’s art. It’s too bad that it wasn’t in the book a lot.

Quesada’s art was like, “Why is this here?” I took me by surprise because I thought it was only Rivera’s art and the art from ASM Annual#21. Guess not.

The art from the annual was good, but the trasitions from the modern art to the art from the annual was jarring as I said in the review.

Thanks for taking your time to leave a comment!

22 07 2010
wade evans

It’s always too bad when the fans know more about Spidey’s character than the writer on the book. Back in the early 90’s when I stopped buying ASM it was because every issue I found myself thinking “Spidey wouldn’t do that.” Time to stop buying the book. Marvel won’t get it ’til their money goes away.

22 07 2010
itsjustsomerandomgeek

Like I said I’m not returning to Amazing until Dan Slott comes back as the writer because He’s the only writer currently that writes Spider-Man as he should be written. All the other writers have me questioning Spidey’s motives. In fact in the issue before this Spidey rips off half of Sasha Kravinoff’s face off. No joke. So I have to ask, “Is this the same Spidey that didn’t want to kill Norman Osborn? Even though Osborn has done horrible things to him Spidey didn’t want to kill him, he just wanted him in jail”.

Editors at Marvel are more like foot massagers nowadays.

22 07 2010
wade evans

Not only that, but in the original Death of Green Goblin story, Spidey was willing to let Osborn live even after he killed Gwen and even though it would have resulted in the Goblin revealing Spidey’s identity. That’s the Spider Man I knew and loved.

29 07 2010
Insideman

Swear all you like! I, for one, won’t be the least bit offended! 🙂

29 07 2010
Insideman

Great review, BTW!

30 07 2010
itsjustsomerandomgeek

Thank you!

6 08 2010
Jason Willis

Loved your review! This is a case of one bad storyline trying to justify another bad storyline. JMS was leaving the book so Quesada took it upon himself to end the marriage. Simple as that. So now three years later fans are still ticked off and now Joe Q is basically saying “well let me explain!” The problem is, Joe, you’re not a very good storyteller. And dude, you’re blog nailed it on the head.

If the Juggernaut or The Hulk were rampaging through the streets of New York on the wedding day, I could buy this explanation. But a random guy? And this is kind of a slap in the face to Mephisto also, isn’t it? Sure the devil incarnate has more creativity to smply disguise himself as a bird and unlock a car door? Ugh.

Although there is a twist in part two that is keeping me reading, I will say that its more akin to a bad accident on the highway. Its terrible but I can’t help myself. I just know the ending is going to be really BAD.

11 08 2010
Josh

Couldn’t have said it better!
J

24 08 2010
Stormen

Nobody gets out of a marriage that easily. Believe me, I know.

7 09 2010
Yven

Great review and you are so right. It’s time for Quesada to accept that there were Marvel and Spidey comics before him and that the fans are fans because of those comics. And the only way to show this to him is to stop buying his comics until he starts respecting the fans who kept his goddamn company making money.

9 09 2010
Kenny

The stories in ASM have been great (my opinion) since Peter and M.J. have ceased being an item. I’ve also been out of comics for a while and may be missing some of the story. But I think I got it and here’s my thought: If the brain trusts behind Amazing Spider-Man wanted Peter and M.J. “separated”, why go through all this One Moment in Time insanity and just have them simply get a divorce? What’s so hard about that? Same result without all the nonsense.

30 10 2010
Morlock50

Great review. I have to wonder, why did Joe bother doing this? Which Spiderman fans were begging for part two of perhaps the most reviled storyline in the history of Marvel comics (or at least right up there with the 80s Avengers story where Ms. Marvel gets raped)? I haven’t followed Spiderman in a while, but he was one of the characters that got me into comics back in the day. It’s really too bad what has been done to one of the flagship titles at Marvel.

4 11 2010
kelly salmon

Great review…it felt as if I was writing it…it’s almost a relief to let go isn’t it? Long live the old ASM.

4 11 2010
kelly salmon

Wow great review. It felt like I wrote it. It feels good to let go a little doesn’t it? Long live the old ASM.

14 12 2010
logankovacs

well, i’m mexican so i haven’t read o.m.i.t. but, if the story is as bad as you say (and i have no doubt it is, ’cause ever since brand new day spider-man comics have sucked) i sure as hell won’t buy it. i personally disagree on your saying that bendis is a bad writer. in fact i think he sustains marvel comics nowadays. but one think i dislike is marvel’s recent work in many of their series.
1. i would have let captain america dead instead of telling a bizarre story on how he was shot by a gun wich would lead to a sort of suspended animation???
2. spider-man has achieving his greatest storys in a lot of time in back in black, and they had to make him reset to a character with a much weaker personality and story arcs.
3. after to very good whole-year series (civil war and ww hulk) they came up with secret invasion wich was just a mere excuse for dark reign. fortunately, dar reign is very well done.
4. is killing characters so frequently really necessary? it’s almost like the end of ultimatum: everyone dies. did bullseye, punisher, ares, sentry and loki all have to die? ok, so maybe sentry’s death is absolutely necessary but they were all great characters with more stories to come. they haven’t killed wolverine because then they would be in a bankrupt but i’m sure the thought has crossed theri minds.
anyway, marvel still has great comics like iron man, thor, x-men, and the surprisingly equally good troughout years daredevil. but’s since “reborn” cap has been awful and pym’s mighty avengers suck too. at least wolverine’s son’s series is almost as good as his father’s.
i hope that when heroic age gets to mexico they won’t spoil more of my favorite comics.
thanks for reading my very short comment

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